I was talking to my little brother earlier. He was telling me of a few things he’d still like to do and / or experience before heading off to college. One of the adventures on his list was going charter fishing on a deep sea boat. I told him he should get his friends together and make it happen. He then surprises me by saying “It just scares me a little since I can’t swim”. My first reaction was to blurt out “What do you mean you can’t swim?”, but it only took my brain a few seconds to process the thought.

Oh that’s right, he really can’t swim.

I guess it is something I’ve just never thought about, but I honestly don’t think he’s ever been in a real pool. We left Arizona when he was about 7 or so, and back then he had no interest in swimming. Aside from those 12 inch high kiddie pools that you can pop in a backyard. And of course once we moved to Alaska, there just aren’t any pools here. I haven’t seen a backyard pool in over 10 years. Pools just aren’t typical for a place that is frozen most of the year.

I don’t even think we have a single public pool in Anchorage. I know we have a water-park, but that isn’t the same. Swimming was a huge part of my childhood. So much a part of my life, that I just assume all kids grow up that way. Me and my friends used to ride our bikes for miles at a time to reach a public pool, then swim all day long till the pool finally closed. That was just standard procedure for any sunny day.

I don’t think my brother has even seen a pool, other than the indoor one at his old high school. It’s hard for me to imagine a healthy, fit 18 year old who can’t swim. Just seems so odd. I guess the fact that we are brothers just sort of blinded my thinking. We have an 11 year age difference, so my life experiences aren’t the same as his. I grew up with Florida beaches and Arizona pools. He grew up sledding and snowboarding. Two completely different lifestyles.

I guess if he wants to go out on a boat, he better invest in a good life jacket.

We’ve been having rain, rain and more rain the past couple weeks. Looks like it may be a typical wet Alaskan summer. Not that I should be all that bothered by it, since I’m not actually working outdoors at the moment. What do I really have to complain about, mowing the grass too often?

I guess I just enjoy the sun, even when I’m not out in it. Doesn’t make much sense! The sun popped out this morning though, so I grabbed the camera and took this photo of the ol’ backyard. Speaking of mowing, looks like its just about time to mow again eh?

So I do a little 90 degree step, and take the stuff I’m holding, drop it in front of his car, hop back in mine and drive away. Given the fact that he was in the same size car I was driving, it must have given him a better understanding of the situation, since he no doubt had to jump out of his car to do the same thing I had been attempting to do.

Now I normally don’t do things like that, because I’m not a rude person, but I was already feeling ill that day and that guy just pushed my buttons the wrong way.

It makes me wonder though; if that guy hadn’t been paying attention and had slammed into the back of my car, would that have been my fault? From what I understand, you aren’t allowed to bring your vehicle to a complete stop on a road unless its an emergency situation. Would the fact the road was blocked be considered an emergency? If I had slammed into it going full speed, there is a very likely chance my car would have been incapacitated. It may have even caused me to crash. At the very least hitting it at any rate of speed might have caused it to scatter into the lane of oncoming traffic.

I imagine if a moose had been standing there, or a kid on a bike, I would be legally allowed (and required) to stop. I just wonder where the line is drawn. Is a cat an emergency? How about a trash can. I’m sure I couldn’t be expected to drive over a fallen tree, or downed power lines.

Yesterday a woman in Canada came to a sudden stop on a highway to let a family of ducks pass, and ended up causing a father and daughter on a motorcycle to be killed as they crashed into the back of her car. So I can see why you aren’t supposed to just stop for anything. Some situations you just have no choice.

It very well may be the most amazing liquor in the world, it just doesn’t sound good. It’s like those people who mix bacon and chocolate, it might be good, but it just sounds disgusting.

Salmon flavor vodka, yeah just not for me. Sounds perfect for gifts though. I love sending out gifts that seem to represent Alaska, and what represents Alaska more than fresh salmon eh? If you want a taste for yourself, you might have to come to Alaska to do it. I’m not sure how many places this is available yet, other than the Permafrost Alaskan Vodka distillery. And who knows, I just may be being too hard on them, they do in fact have one of the highest rated vodkas according to the Beverage Tasting Institute, their Permafrost flavor scored a 96 out of 100 rating, one of only 4 vodkas with a score that high since the institute founded in 1994.

We just had our summer solstice a few days ago, the longest daylight hours of the year. That is one of the things some of us come to appreciate about the Alaskan summers, it seems you can walk outside at just about any hour and still have daylight.

How many people can claim they’ve seen a sunset at 11 pm?

I have a confession: I think I want a white iPhone. Yeah, I said that. If you know me, you would be really surprised right now, because I usually really, really dislike white “gadgets”. Something about this one though, just looks… slick. Snazzy. I’m not sure exactly what it is. Maybe I’ll see one in person and change my mind, but from all the photos I’ve seen online, this looks like a phone I want.

Which is sort of a good thing, because this white version isn’t going to be available until the end of July — and since I don’t really have money at the moment, that gives me time to try and get some. Or win the lottery.

You see a photo like this, and obviously this girl is devastated. Something horrible must have just happened, like a close friend being shot during a bank robbery. Or maybe her house just got blown away by a tornado. I mean, just look at her! Something has broken this poor girl!… Oh, wait… what? You mean it wasn’t a disaster? Wait, she was… you’re kidding… this is about Twilight? Oh god.

REUTERS

A fan cries as U.S. actors Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart arrive for the red carpet to promote the movie “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” in downtown Rome.

The sorts of things you see all the time, and always wonder if they are true or not.

The funny thing about her whole situation was the fact that every 15 minutes or so, when the traffic died down and nobody was looking, she’d rush over to a parked SUV where a guy was sitting. He’d pass her a large fast-food cup, and she’d drink some down. They’d be laughing and smiling, and she would then pass him a wad of money she had gotten from the passing cars, lean in to kiss him, then dash back to her corner and hold her sign back up. I watched this whole scene repeat itself about 3 or 4 times before I finally had to head back into the store. When I eventually came out, she was still there.

I passed the same street the next day, and she was there again, and as my eyes scanned the parking lot I saw her friendly cohort sitting there in his SUV. Now obviously, to my eyes, they were running some kind of scam. She was probably posing as the young, desperate girl, just trying to get home to her family. Or one of another hundred ploys to trick money from the kind-hearted among us. I imagine the guy in the SUV was her boyfriend, sitting in there counting all the money us dumb folks kept giving his girl. I could even imagine it being his idea. They probably figured they weren’t hurting anyone, so why not go for it. They probably figured it was a win-win situation, they got free money, and the folks in the cars got to drive away feeling like they did something nice for someone who was down on their luck.

All I know is, up till that point I used to give money out freely. Not amazing amounts of money, don’t get me wrong. I’m no saint and I don’t pretend to be. But a few dollars here, a few dollars there. If I had loose change in my pocket and someone who looked as if they needed it asked, I always gave it to them without a second though. Watching that woman fool people though, it made me cynical. It made me jaded. I started to not be so free with my spare change. I started to be one of those people who just walk or drive by, eyes forward, pretending not to see. I just started to assume everyone I saw was a fake.

I really didn’t care for that new person I had become. I much preferred the old me, who enjoyed helping out just for the sake of helping out. I kind of felt like the kid who learned the truth about Santa Claus. Once you know, you can’t go back. Things are just never the same. Over the years since that incident I’ve toned down the cynicism a bit. I help out now days, just not blindly. I’m no longer in the same financial situation I once was, so now every spare dollar is important to my life as well. I just go from situation to situation, and decide on the fly whether or not money will be leaving my pocket. It’s the only compromise I’ve been able to think of that still lets me feel decent about myself, while not just letting myself be used.

I got to thinking about all of this after reading a story about a man who decided not to just walk away and pretend he didn’t see:

I was day tripping to Vancouver from Seattle and stopped in for lunch at a little cafe. From my window I saw a young teenage girl out in the cold, squatted down in a closed up businesses doorway, holding a small bundle in her arms. She was panhandling, people were mostly walking by ignoring her. She looked just broken.

I finished up my meal and went outside, went through my wallet and thought I’d give her $5 for some food. I got up to her and she was sobbing, she looked like she was 14-15. And that bundle in her arms was a baby wrapped up. I felt like I just got punched in the chest. She looked up putting on a game face and asked for any change, I asked her if she’s like some lunch. Right next door was a small quick-Trip type grocery store, I got a can of formula for the baby (very young, maybe 2-3 months old.), and took her back to the cafe though I’d just eaten. She was very thankful, got a burger and just inhaled it. Got her some pie and ice cream. She opened up and we talked. She was 15, got pregnant, parents were angry and she was fighting with them. She ran away. She’s been gone almost 1 full year.

I asked her if she’s like to go home and she got silent. I coaxed her, she said her parents wouldn’t want her back. I coaxed further, she admitted she stole 5k in cash from her Dad. Turns out 5k doesn’t last long at all and the streets are tough on a 15 year old. Very tough. She did want to go back, but she was afraid no one wanted her back after what she did.

We talked more, I wanted her to use my phone to call home but she wouldn’t. I told her I’d call and see if her folks wanted to talk to her, she hesitated and gave bad excuses but eventually agreed. She dialed the number and I took the phone, her Mom picked up and I said hello. Awkwardly introduced myself and said her daughter would like to speak to her, silence, and I heard crying. Gave the phone to the girl and she was just quiet listening to her Mom cry, and then said hello. And she cried. They talked, she gave the phone back to me, I talked to her Mom some more.

I drove her down to the bus station and bought her a bus ticket home. Gave her $100 cash for incidentals, and some formula, diapers, wipes, snacks for the road.

Got to the bus, and she just cried saying thank you over and over. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and a hug, kissed her baby, and she got on the bus.

I get a chistmas card every year from her. She’s 21 now and in college.

Her name is Makayla and her baby was Joe.

I’ve never really told anyone about this. I just feel good knowing I did something good in this world. Maybe it’ll make up for the things I’ve f-ed up.

Really makes you think about how just a few moments of your time can change a life.

Big freaking shock huh.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the producers of the show had told her what to wear in the first place. “No no, that outfit is much too conservative. Give her something 2 sizes smaller, and lower cut. Boobs people, boobs. We are airing this in HD, we want to see those puppies jiggling all over the 50 inch screens in living rooms across the country! I want to feel like they are smacking me in the face every time the camera zooms in! Just think of the ratings!”

And the games are pretty blah as well. I know they are meant to be simple, and the sort of thing that you could do right at home, but it just isn’t very exciting watching someone roll and egg across the floor. Or bounce a spoon into a cup. Unless you really like boobs.

I just got back from seeing one of my favorite bands — Flyleaf — live, in downtown Anchorage for our “Summer Solstice” Festival. Funny how great music and an energetic atmosphere can make you forget that you’ve had rain pouring on you for the last 2 hours. I have to give major props to the band for being willing to come to Alaska, not many bands bother with us. Not only did they come and put on an amazing show, it was free. That just never happens here, at least with bands that I actually want to hear.

I also love the fact that Lacie always has such a positive attitude, and words of encouragement for the crowd:

“I just want you all to know, that just because we are standing up on this stage, that doesn’t make us any better than anyone here. You all have a purpose. Each and every one of you, and it’s a purpose that only you can fulfill, only you can do it. We each have a purpose. It is your story. And at the very end, we want to challenge you, and charge you, to arise and be everything that you were made to be.”

Hearing her say that hit me pretty hard, because my favorite song they sing happens to be “Arise”, and it’s a song of hope and power. A song that, to me, says no matter how bad today is, tomorrow could be better, and if we can only hold on long enough, we’ll have the chance to make that true.

We’ll cry tonight, but in the morning we are new
Stand in the sun, we’ll dry your eyes

Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for,
There’s still strength left in us yet
Hold on to the world we all remember dying for,
There’s still hope left in it yet

Arise and be,
all the you dreamed, all that you dreamed