My Boss: The Friendly Jerk
My boss can be one of those most rude, mean-spirited and ungrateful people I’ve ever met. For a few minutes anyway. No matter how pissed he gets, a half hour later and he’s all smiles and compliments. Just the nicest person you’ve ever met. I swear, sometimes it feels like working for someone with a multiple personality syndrome. You just can’t get used to having someone scream at you, and before you even get over your reaction to it, he’s patting you on the back for a job well done. It’s bizarre. Which makes it nearly impossible to hold a grudge against the guy, since I don’t think he even knows what that word means.
So, taking that information into account, let me tell you about one of my bosses more peculiar tendencies: nicknames. The guy has a nickname for everyone in our company. They range from playful, to bitter. From descriptive to head-scratching. You never know what this guy may come up with. It might be something that makes you smile, or it could be something that seems to have a not-so-subtle racist tinge to it. I’ll list a few of the more colorful things he has come up with, and the reasons why I think he choose them.
Keep in mind he never says these to our faces, but we all know exactly which one of them we are.
Pineapple: the guy from Hawaii
Stinky: worst smelling breath in the history of the world
One-Eye: lazy eye
Dirty Eddie: will have sex with anything that moves
Dr. Chan: due to being Asian
The Backstabber: name explains itself
Hollywood: wears sunglasses even in the dark
Barbie: gay
Brother Mose: simply because he is black
Twigs: skinny guy
As I said, some of those have a pretty strong stink of racism. Yet he just doesn’t seem to care one way or another. I think it might be deeper than that though, I think he just simply doesn’t comprehend that what he is saying can be construed as harassment, or racism, or sexism. I’ll stand there listening to this stuff, just shaking my head wondering how in the world a guy like that can become a manager. Then less than a minute later he has his arm around the person he was talking about, and is giving them a free coffee card. Or inviting them to dinner. Or talking about the latest movie that hit the theaters — just completely oblivious that anyone’s thoughts might still be lingering on the crazy stuff he said moments before.
I think he’s bi-polar or something. There is for sure something off about the guy.
Work sure is an adventure sometimes.
July 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
ok…just love the picture lol
July 26th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Didn’t realize till after I posted it that the person screaming in that pic was a woman lol