No Thanks, I’m Not Hungry
So today at Jury Duty we managed to get an hour and a half lunch, and a few of us were trying to decide if we wanted to head to the mall to eat, or just walk across the street and pay for the obnoxiously expensive ‘deli’ style food from the “Sandwich Deck” (8 bucks for a grilled cheese, pfft). We couldn’t all come up with an agreeable plan, so I decided to be Mr. Nice Guy and I volunteered to run to Subway and just bring sandwiches back to the courthouse.
Before I left, one of the ladies (the youngest one of our group) told me that she wasn’t really in the mood for a whole meal, or even a sandwich, and it would be just fine if I picked her up a drink and just a bag of chips. That was fine by me, made things easier. Before everyone else started assaulting me with their choices (I hate being handed a long list of things to order) I came up with the plan of just calling the jury room while I was in line, and having each person “speak” their order to me while I would be repeating it back to the Subway people.
Easy-peasy.
So off I go, and I get in line at Subway. I inform them that I’d be ordering quite a few sandwiches, and I let a couple people behind me go first so they wouldn’t be waiting forever. It all went smooth and exactly to plan till the “I only want chips and a soda” girl got on the phone. She says, “You know, a sandwich does sound good“. OK, fine by me, she got hungry while I drove here. Not a problem. The rest of the byplay went a little something like this:
Her: “I don’t want a whole meal though… I’ll just have turkey, on wheat bread. Onions, greenpepper. Oh, and salt and pepper. Oh! And make sure they use cheddar cheese. I like cheddar. Do they have banana peppers?”
Me: -asks about peppers- “Yes, they do.”
Her: “OK, banana peppers too. I love those, they aren’t hot. And I want vinegar oil, and did you tell them salt and pepper, I didn’t hear. I have to have salt and pepper.”
Me: “…Yes, I did.”
Her: “Good! And umm, do they have like a raspberry tea?”
Me: -checks- “No, no raspberry tea.”
Her: “Some kind of diet fruit juice?”
Me: “No, they have pink lemonade though.”
Her: “OK, that is good too. I’ll take that. And umm… BBQ chips! I think thats it.”
Me: “So you want the meal after all then.”
Her: “No, no, not the meal. I’m not that hungry.”
Me: “…well, you got a sandwich, drink and chips. That IS a meal.”
Her: “Well… can’t you just buy them separate?”
Me: “What for?”
Her: “I dunno… so it wouldn’t be a meal?”
(It was at about this point that I realized I wasn’t talking to the sharpest tool in the shed.)
Me: “Yeah, ahh, OK, I’ll pick these up for you. Tell everyone I’ll be back in about 15 minutes.”
I get back to the courthouse and up to our jury room and portion out the food. Ms. No Meal happily ate her “separate” food items in ignorant bliss that she was in fact consuming an entire ‘meal’. She seemed so happy that I didn’t have the heart to even tease her about the situation, it just would have made me feel mean at that point. It must be nice to go through life in a strange fantasy world.
Oh, and this is the same girl who sits around with an empty coffee cup in the mornings and asks, “Going to make coffee?” each time someone stands up to stretch their legs. Apparently she doesn’t know how to make it herself, though she consumes enough of it to fuel a small country.
May 13th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I have to agree…I don't thinks she was the sharpest tool in the shed either. I mean, I have my moments but I don't think they are this bad haha.